CHASING DAYLIGHT

Pastor & Parent

2012-02-13T14:44:00.000-08:00

I follow a Twitter feed called @bobgoff. This is a man who I do not know personally but I love hearing him talk or read what he writes because of the faith he lives with.
Last week he sent this tweet;
"When your career goal is simply to be the pastor of your family, everything else becomes just a day job"

This rung out with joy for me because this concept is what I'm trying to do, I'm desperately trying to lead my family spiritually & give them my utmost time, attention & care. I know the phrase "pastoring" a family can lead to many different connotations & ideas for various people, but for me there are some real specific aspects I try to do.

1- Pray with my wife. I love our marriage & never want it to break. I want to pray with my wife about our marriage, our parenting, our excitements, fears, joys & everything else. I want this to be a constant habit so we both depend on Jesus.
2- Pray with my kids. I want my sons to see their dad who deeply depends on God each day. I want to model for them what a prayerful lifestyle is, but also I want to hear them pray. You can learn a lot about your kids if you listen to them pray.
3- Be obedient to Jesus. Whether it be through Scripture, meditation, the nudging of the Holy Spirit or the nudging of your spouse whom the Holy Spirit is using....I want to be obedient when Jesus asks our family to act in certain ways.
4- Serve. I want to serve my wife daily. I want to serve my kids daily. I want to show the people I love the most that I love them enough to serve them selflessly.
5- Forgiveness. I'm not perfect & I suck at a lot of things, but I want to seek forgiveness when I need to. I also want to extend forgiveness as readily as I want to receive it. I want our home to be a place where grace, mercy & forgiveness fill the air.

Bottom line is I want to be the husband & dad who puts more energy into his marriage than anything else. Everything else can fall apart and I'll be ok with it. If my family falls apart because I didn't care for it, then I've failed with the dearest gifts God has given me!

Dad's....make it a memory

2012-02-10T15:10:00.000-08:00

Saturday I took my boys snowboarding for the first time while we took some students.

It was a little nerve racking keeping track of my own 2 while also the students we took, but in the end everyone came home without any breaks...only bruises.

However the dad in me had a blast! I grew up in Colorado & grew up in the snow & to be able finally get my own two on the slopes was great!! They both fell but kept getting back up to really work hard at snowboarding. It was a great memory maker for all of us and really felt like a special day.

Here is some video from the GoPro Camera we had along for the ride!

Changes: Intentional or Tweak it

2012-02-09T09:16:00.000-08:00

I wrote a blog for crew at YouthMinistry360.com on making changes in a student ministry. They're a great team desiring to empower youth pastors to lead well. I'd encourage you to check out their website which you can do by clicking HERE--

I believe there are seasons where we’d agree that change is good and necessary, where our ministries need to be shaken-up a little, not for the sake of change, but to adjust things for a healthier and more effective ministry.
But how do you begin to assess and effectively implement those changes?The easiest way is to simply “tweak” a program element. For example, maybe you have the worship set come at the end of a message instead of the beginning. After all, this change is noticeable. It will alter the flow of a student service. People will notice it!

But is this type of tweak really considered change? Too often youth pastors are too busy, too overwhelmed, and maybe, dare I say it, too complacent to make real, intentional changes. Tweaking minor elements of your programming can be made without any real thought. But too often we count tweaks as real change, as if a pull here and a push there could really affect the overall effectiveness of our ministries.
I believe as youth ministers, we need to have an attitude of evaluation with an eye toward intentional change. I don’t need to tell you that we’re ministering to students in a culture that has (and is) undergoing radical shifts. We must be willing to adjust our ministry compass in a way that doesn’t just alter a program element here or there, but affects our entire DNA, if that is what it takes to effectively reach our students.

In short, we have to be willing to make intentional changes where our very ETHOS is affected. The ethos of your youth ministry is its foundational, or inherent culture, character, or identity. The ethos of any environment is built over time.

Take Disney for example. I live 20 minutes from Disneyland. Disney has spent almost 60 years working on the ETHOS of the “happiest place on earth.” I know people who work there who tell me about entire days spent walking around the park on knee-pads just to observe the park from a child’s perspective. The cool thing? The next day they make changes that go into effect immediately.

When was the last time you or your team took intentional time to evaluate EVERY aspect of your ministry to make intentional change for the benefit of your students?
We need to assess every aspect of our ministries so we are intentionally caring, loving, and directing our students. Here’s a few suggestions of how to start. AND, I highly encourage you to not do this alone but in a group:
Write out the values or purpose of why the student ministry exists.
List out EVERY aspect of your ministry. Everything is up for evaluation.
Without reaching, see what aspects of your ministry are and aren’t lining up with your values and purpose.
Pray that God’s Spirit will direct you to change.
Make the changes needed!
Making intentional changes will ensure your ministry stays effective in a changing culture.

Feel free to leave any feedback or thoughts as you wish

Jr High Ministry

2012-02-08T11:12:00.000-08:00

I wrote this article for Youthministry.com and they published it today. You can read it HERE at the website or below~

Here is a confession of this youth pastor; I am NOT wired for junior high ministry and I never have been. I can pull off junior high camp, events, connect with leaders, but the week-in and week-out just isn’t me. I find that I have to work very hard to stay engaged with junior high ministry. It’s not that I don’t like junior high students, quite the contrary, I just find myself more engaged with high school ministry. I care about the students knowing Jesus and being students who'll step into the high school ministry very soon; I just can't get amped about the day-to-day leadership.
I’ve gone to workshops, read books, talked to the “pros” to try to gain as much leadership perspective as possible about junior high ministry. I love the crazy ideas and “story time” junior high students have—in fact I’m pretty sure I laugh more with junior high ministry. But I want to be an effective pastor to the junior high students who are under my care, even if it isn't my passion.
So here is how a non-junior-high youth pastor does junior high ministry.

1- High five. Call it simple but I high five any and every junior high student I see. I want to try to communicate I acknowledge and their existence.

2- Postcards. I mail out postcards to students in junior high as often as possible I make a killer graphic that takes up a lot of space, write out a simple note and mail postcards each week to different students.

3- Funny videos. Junior high boys are kings at finding useless, random YouTube videos. But I try to use their videos suggestions they tell me about in an upcoming message.

4- I find great leaders who will love students. I can’t do this ministry alone and I need other leads to help me love on these students. I confess to them that I am not a great junior high pastor, but collectively we all can make a great team. I’m still waiting and looking for a great leader to take over my job in this area!

5- I leverage events, camps & retreats. I’m okay helping our junior high ministry be healthy by revolving around specific and intentional events.

6- I’m ok going back to the whiteboard. If a message, event, or any idea doesn’t work, we try something else. We’re okay failing.

7- We tell students WE LIKE YOU. This is a message I believe junior high students need. That they are liked and we, their ministry leaders, like them a lot. We want them around and we value their lives.
I know this list won’t write a book or revolutionalize the next junior high ministry conference, but for our ministry we hope it's working. If you're like me you like feedback, I'd love to hear your ideas on how you stay effective for junior high ministry!

It's New

2012-02-06T15:08:00.000-08:00

The Month of January we did a series called "It's New" in our student ministry. We focussed on the truth that a life altering faith decision with Jesus means EVERY aspect of our life and the way we live needs transformed. Everyday "It's New". Each week we had one word as a key thought to hold onto as well as an attempt at a visual with the key verse. The series was a good way to start off 2012 and had some decent feedback from students each Sunday.

The Key word each week was;
Week 1- LIFE 2 Corinthians 5:17
Week 2- MINDSET Romans 12:1-2
Week 3- LIFESTYLE Colossians 3:1-17
WeeK 4- FOUNDATIONS Mark 4:1-11
Week 5- COMMUNITY 1 Thessalonians 2:8

The biggest learning I had from teaching this series to our students was the reminder that students need pointed to the transforming imagery of the cross. Our lives should look differently and they won't "just happen" unless we diligently understand the desire God has through His Holy Spirit to transform us so the outward evidence is blatant!

I also learned how many of our students, grown up in the church or not, needed a healthy reminder that life is NOT about them as a follower of Jesus. South Orange County is such an animal that loves to devour the identity of Christ followers with distractions of sports, accolades, prestige, money, fame & apathetic lives that get bragged about. To live countercultural isn't just a good metaphor for our students but it is a daily struggle.

After living in several regions & being a part of leading ministries there I am confident in saying that Southern California is one of the HARDEST places to have a healthy student ministry because of the lifestyle surrounding our students!

I'm not naive enough to know that this message is probably already forgotten by our students but I'm glad we tackled this series and can build off it as a reference from now till the summer!

Healthy Youth Ministry #2

2012-02-01T15:55:00.000-08:00

I posted on Healthy Youth Ministry earlier here, and just had another experience where I was reminded of what Healthy Youth Ministry looks like. I just had a two hour conversation with a student leader whom I've known 3 years and here is my recap.

Conversation is better than dictation
Often it's easy to get into the game of "dictating" how time with a student will go by having an agenda. However if you have a conversation the time with the student goes where the questions & conversation go. Doesn't matter if its sports, leadership, college, grades, food, girls, money and some random inside jokes. Having a conversation with a students gives them the chance to be heard & be loved on. It gives them a voice to what is on their heart & mind with myself listening to THEM.

Be available for impromptu moments
While eating the mother & brother of ANOTHER student walked in the restaurant. I had never met them and the student I was with introduced me to them. It was a great moment to interact with a parent & brother of a new student. The student I was meeting with even noticed that I "didn't cut the conversation short with a quick Hi" but I was willing to give them time.

Respect & take advantage of curiosity
Twice in the two hours I was asked poignant questions that this student had been sitting on for a while. One was on money & one was on leadership. With each topic I made sure I knew what the student was asking by being sure I heard them clearly. I probed their thoughts before sharing mine. I asked them where all this thinking came from to understand the back story. I allowed them to ask private questions & I gave them more information when they asked for it.

Healthy youth ministry isn't rocket science, but it does take intentionality. If I never schedule to hang with this student...none of this would have never happened.

Books, Books & More Books

2012-01-30T14:00:00.000-08:00

My reading list is no joke 21 books deep. I have books about Psychology, Theology, Philosophy, Marriage, Parenting, Football, Leadership & Money.

I like to read, but I don't always make time for it.

A subtle life challenge for 2012 for myself is creating daily time to read. I desperately like to learn and believe reading is a way to help nurture that craving for myself. Many people i know wish they were "less busy" so they could read more. I got to thinking how can I create more time to read so I gave myself a little test over for 4 hours one day.

The test was to see how many minutes I could have read instead of "_____________". I discovered that over the course of 4 hours I felt i wasted or misused roughly 35minutes. So I then took 35minutes as reading before I could move on to anything else. Because of that I didn't finish one task & had to stay up a little later at night to accomplish it. For every action there is a reaction principle.

A great part of this so fas has been trying to test myself here & there and I keep finding myself staying a little more on task to free up some reading time. I'm not trying to set aside uninterrupted hours to read, but steal 30-45minutes here and there. By the end of the week it'll all add up.

So as I finish books I'll post a few thoughts from each book on my blog to let you into what I read over the next 12 months. I don't know if I'll read all 21 books, but we'll see.

Fear or Afraid

2012-01-27T14:33:00.000-08:00

FEAR: an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat

AFRAID: worried that something undesirable will occur or be done

I believe there is a difference between these two words that cause life altering decisions and I feel they need addressed.

Fear can cripple you from acting. Being Afraid is just emotion you need to get over. You may disagree or differ with my assessment, which I am ok with, but here is my perspective on this discussion.

Think of what people fear. Spiders, snakes, death, clowns and for some people the color yellow. Fears genuinely can freeze people, cause increased blood pressure that forces their body to shut down. Fears are what keeps us from skydiving or open-cage shark swimming.

Being afraid means that you are worried of an outcome yet you aren't paralyzed to the point where you won't act. Being afraid means you worry about the Missions trip experience, but you still choose to go. Being afraid is similar to signing the dotted line on buying a house, not knowing if the market will turn around. Being afraid means you take a new job, not knowing if it'll last 6 months.
You can still act, live & survive while being afraid.

Too many people, especially leaders, mask FEAR as "just" being AFRAID. They don't make hard decisions about the company, employees, direction or vision because they are paralyzed by the unknown outcome. They forget how to risk & be ok failing. So instead they don't act, let things just be and nothing great is ever pursued. They freeze and cripple themselves with not acting or making a choice.

Too many husbands shipwreck their marriage on the reef of stubbornness cause FEAR keeps them from being vulnerable & honest with their spouse. FEAR keeps them from a serving heart & leads with a captains authority. It's ok for husbands to admit being AFRAID of their spouses response or action but still risk for Her. They hide inside their cave of manhood only to live there alone.

Too many parents let FEAR guide their parenting & by doing so don't decide to raise adults but nurture infants that can look like teenagers. Parents need to allow themselves permission to be afraid of making the wrong choice, but still act with proper intentions and desires to raise their children to become adults. Parents assume they are doing the right thing when really it is just the passive thing to not stand as the parent.

Don't get me wrong there is plenty I FEAR, but I've learned to live with allowing myself to be ok with AFRAID. I'd rather risk & fail then be passive. I'd rather choose then pass on a decision. I'd rather fail 100 times & succeed 1 time all for the sake of trying to live life in such a way that I'm trying to make something more with what God has given me than to just live in neutral.

Healthy Youth Ministry

2012-01-24T11:00:00.000-08:00

Right now my house is filling up with High School girls for Pazookies. My wife is serving these girls chocolate, ice cream & sugar for a celebratory study break during finals week. It's a simple reminder to me of how healthy youth ministry really is simple.

1--Healthy Youth Ministry takes leaders meeting students where they are.

Students need to see adults entering their world. Students need to be shown that adults really do have students best interest in mind & want to understand their world, needs & what matters to them. Being accepted by students allows the message you carry to be received by students. Risk failing & risk looking like a fool, students value authenticity.

2--Healthy Youth Ministry needs a little creativity shown to students.

Students love to be loved with something a little different. A little bit of creativity shown to a student can go a long way. A Birthday card in the mail 6 months before their birthday, a text message with a lame joke, or a study break with Pazookies.

Creativity in the lives of students looks a lot like sincere care & appropriate affection for teens who are often starved of both.

3--Healthy Youth Ministry shows students that life with Jesus is worth it.

Words, actions, intentions & attitude are all watched & gauged by students. They observe our lives through a magnifying glass to see if we'll really live out our faith or if its just verbiage we recite.

When God Moves

2012-01-23T16:00:00.000-08:00

You know the time in your life where everything seems to heading in a certain direction and in reality the whole time it is moving completely opposite? You just don't know it until you submit your desires to Jesus and let Him lead?

Yeah me too....crazy fun huh!?!?!

A long thought

2012-01-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

**Personal thoughts to follow. These don't reflect any specific church, ministry or set dogmatic convictions- so don't be dumb if you repeat these to anyone as anything more than someone's processing of his own faith on his own journey.**

As I sit here knowing i need to go to bed cause 6:30am will come way too quickly for me. I must share something that has been been repeating in my cranial cavity that i had spent several hours thinking through.

There is a difference between Listening TO the voice of God & Listening FOR the voice of God.

So often i hear people say that "God told them to..." and in the same conversation they discuss a very personal opinion or feeling and you realize it wasn't God who told them anything, but the statement was really an excuse to do something they wanted to do.
I have an issue when people use God as an excuse to do something they really want to do.

Now as i have been following the teachings and life of Jesus for 11 years now i have come to see that we can listen TO & FOR God's voice.

We have the ability to listen to God speak. Through prayer, God's Spirit, other people God may use, scripture and however else God may us He does and can speak to us. There have been 4 significant times in my life where i knew exactly what God wanted me to do, unequivically. 6 moments in 15 years, that isn't the best batting average- If you take it in days that is 4 days out of 5,475 or 0.00073. So how is this relationship with Christ living, vibrant, passionate, world changing, mystical, deep & you get where i am going....

The way i see it is the fact that 'when' God spoke i knew it loud & clear. These moments were not what parking spot to take or what food place to eat at, there were significant moments where i was willing for God to step in & totally direct and re-direct where my life was going. The moments were not all life altering, but very confirming of who God is.

I also have the ability to listen FOR God's voice every day of this journey.

Prayer for you

2012-01-19T16:00:00.000-08:00

Father, you are here. Your presence moves around me, and Your beauty surrounds me. Let me find You where I seek You; let me see You in places I never have before. Let me lose myself in you, for nothing else could as adequate or life giving as your presence.

What if our days were spent looking for God already at work?
What if we daily joined Jesus in being the message of life & redemption?
What if we humbled ourselves to realize we miss God's voice a lot because we aren't willing to be attentive to Him?

My Boys are Growing Up!

2012-01-18T00:22:00.000-08:00

Parenting brings a BUNCH of unknowns!

For the whole school year our boys have wanted a chance to walk home. Now we only live about 3 miles from their school and it is a direct route without crossing a major traffic intersection. However, this has been a hard request to accommodate for me.

-If you're like me you've checked websites like Megan's Law. As a parent this is a reality of a fear we have and a concern we think about.
-The question of "do my kids know what to do if...". Have I done enough coaching so their street smarts are enough to handle certain situations.
-What if they run into bullies?
-What if something freak happens and they can't get ahold of me?

These types of questions can be a mile long and create a lot of worry in how we as parents make decisions. Here are some of my thoughts on how we've handled this scenario.

We've turned this idea and request of our kids as right of passage. We talked up the big deal of us trusting them to do this as well as have specific conversations to try to help them think & be observant of their surroundings.

Yes this really is a bit scary, but I refuse to allow fear to guide my parenting & training of my kids. The fear of the "what if..." will always be evident, but unless I wrap my kids in bubble wrap, lock them in a compound and brainwash them my kids will constantly be forced to face reality and they are old enough that we have to have more specific life conversations.

It has also been an opportunity to take captive the excitement our kids have over this idea. It has been rad to see them get excited about the opportunity & trust we've given them. It also has been fun to watch them have a bragging right with their friends of what they get to do.

My boys haven't done everything we've asked perfectly and we've used the mistakes as a coaching opportunity. Coaching, training, correcting will be a constant as a parent. I want to take advantage of every opportunity I have to help my kids grow into competent adults

Just some of my learnings of letting my kids grow up.

Kimberly Bowers

2012-01-17T05:30:00.000-08:00

The love of my life, the mother of my boys and an amazing woman.

Happy Birthday Sweetheart!

Cruise Ship Tragedy

2012-01-16T11:30:00.000-08:00

I'm sure many of us have seen the pictures of the Costa Concordia ship sitting on its side in the Italian waters. There is a huge sense of empathy for those parents who scrambled to find their kids, the spouses who clung close to each other to be sure they both got off the ship & to those who tragically did lose someone in his accident.

What bugs me is what has been reported about the captain.

The Captain Ran Away

Seriously, let that set in-He left & went to shore to take care of HIMSELF. The captain chose to leave his responsibility, make an erroneous navigational error & people lost their lives. Here is a hard truth of leadership...others come first.
If you are a key leader & your role has you overseeing the safety, health & protection of other peoples lives you will be held to a higher standard. Your role automatically means you care about other peoples lives before your own. Leadership isn't pretty and often you'll be in a setting where you have to make a split decision that has drastic outcomes. When those moments happen your character & leadership quality will be revealed.

Leaders be sure you evaluate your heart before you take on a role. Don't just grab a role of authority for the perks or the spotlight. Check yourself and have an honest conversation evaluating if your heart & mind is in the right position to carry out your duties. Remind yourself that other people's lives are on the line and your choices have a large & wider ripple effect.

Power of Words

2012-01-13T12:12:00.000-08:00

This past week our church staff got away for two days to dream, brainstorm, evaluate & do some planning. The power of team pray, gathering, evaluating & listening to one another is a high value for me on this staff.

Before the two days were over we went around the circle we were in & affirmed one another with words of what we value & like about a teammate. Brian (Senior Pastor) had me be first, but before I let anyone share I grabbed my iPhone & recorded everyone's comments as a voice memo. I was asked later why I would do this and my reply was "cause I know I'll be discouraged one day and this could be a reminder for me".

People love to be valued & desperately need to have messages of truth spoken into their life. People need positive reinforcement through caring words & actions...especially leaders.

I've learned to enjoy the comments of affirmation people say about me. I listen intently to what they are saying. I allow myself to embrace the words & I also process what have I done to allow them to say those things.

The people you are around that you have an influence over, go affirm them. It could be your spouse, kids, employees, neighbor or grocery store clerk. Affirm them, encourage them, validate them & speak truth into their day. Who knows, you might be the only voice of truth they get to hear

Laziness isn't just a part of our culture...part 2

2012-01-10T10:03:00.000-08:00

Jesus also tells this really rad parable about hard work, you can read it here .

To be asked to do something well with someone else's resources is scary. It's scary cause you don't want to offend the person that has asked you of this task. Your nervous because you want to do well, but sometimes your decision may be a gamble.

But here is how I process things like this. If someone asks of me a task then they feel comfortable enough to ask me or they trust me enough to ask me. The key is I want to work as hard as I can to be able to show them all my efforts & the result.

As a football coach I'd always say I'd take the less of an athlete if he's the harder worker. You can coach up a kid who'll bust his butt and give you his best. Most of the pro athletes in the NFL were NOT the best college athlete, but they are the hardest worker.

Don't be lazy when asked to do something.

Real Life Example

Teen 1--I hate having a job. They make me work!
Teen 2-- Why is working so bad, you get paid.
Teen 1-- Yeah but why can't I just sit around and make money.
Teen 2-- Cause that's not called work. That's called Laziness.
Teen 1-- SO!!
Teen 2-- Tell me that last LAZY person you saw do something with their life?
Teen 1-- .....uuhhh
Teen 2-- EXACTLY! Stop whining and make some money. Who knows if you figure out how to work hard you might get a raise.
Me-- or you might be able to actually get better grades or finally pass math for the 3rd time (sarcastically)
Teen 1-- or I can just play XBOX...(his own laughter followed as we rolled our eyes)

Working hard isn't something our culture wants to do. But the people I meet, students or adults, that I respect are those that have a solid work ethic.

As a dad & pastor I'm trying to model this as much as teach it. But a hard work ethic doesn't mean you are always working. It means you work hard when you have to work hard so you can then relax when its time to relax.

Laziness isn't just a part of our culture...part 1

2012-01-07T10:01:00.000-08:00

There is cool parable Jesus tells about getting hired, working & getting paid-you can read it here.

I love the argument people have, "Hey I worked all day, why does that slouch who only worked 1 hour get the same wage as me?"
I think it's a fair argument & I've even used that argument with an employer.

But I think it also reveals something. A pride attitude and pride can look a lot like laziness.
The mindset of "I'm above that task of hard work so therefore I don't have to do it". That type of thinking isn't just about pride, but there is also a selfish laziness attitude there. Jesus dealt with it then, we can deal with it now. We just need to deal with it & help lead people out of it.

Real life example:

Teen 1--Yes I'm pissed I got the car taken away for 2 weeks. I mean the garage being a mess is my brother's fault not mine?
Me--Yeah but didn't they ask you to help clean it?
Teen 1--But why should I. It was going to take time away from going out
Me--How much time?
Teen 1--15 minutes.
Me--So for losing 15 minutes of going out you jeopardized some freedom for 2 weeks. Was it worth it?
Teen 1--Nope...but at least i still didn't have to work at cleaning the garage.

Now don't get me wrong I understand both sides here and with my own kids the "its not fair" phrase is already in our house. But maybe the perspective change could be "Yep it isn't fair. But it is helpful, caring & selfless loving". Maybe I'm too much of a humanity optimistic person that if a community of people are living in a selfless loving way it is infectious in the most positive way.

I don't know, it seems to me the call of Jesus in radically alternative living actually creates change that is healthy for everyone!

Christmas Recap

2012-01-06T09:46:00.000-08:00

Yes I know Christmas is almost 14 days behind us but here is our family recap:

-- Lego's, we built a lot of them
-- Hang time. We vegged but we were not lazy. We did all the family stuff we always wanted to do but without the "time to go to work" phrase.
-- Flirting...there was a lot of flirting. Maybe cause I was home all day for 5 straight days. I realized that I need to flirt more with my wife even if I'm not around during the day.
-- Movies....we love movies and we watched 5 of them. REDBOX was our friend for 5 straight days.
-- Football at the park
-- Skype with Grandparents & cousins to still watch each other open presents
-- Laughter. Our family laughed a lot with each other & at each other.

What if...

2012-01-04T20:54:00.000-08:00

What if the only love you knew was the love you gave? What would the quality of the love you know be? Would it be casual, half-hearted or apathetic? Would it be callous, jealous or narcissistic? Would it be vain or shallow? Or would be so selfless that it would alter the world you live in?

It's New

2012-01-03T14:07:00.000-08:00

My blogging hiatus is over after a much needed week off work and a ton of family time. We ate too much, laughed a lot, caught up on some movies & I feel we did some serious bonding as a family of 4.

But now that 2012 is here and in May we all die i figured I better get back on my blogging.

-So my 1st blog post of 2012-

If you could sum up 2011 in one word what would it be?

It's a hard task, but summizing life into one word I don't feel is fair. But for the sake of the game, play along.

Mine word is FIGHT.
I felt 2011 was a big fight. A fight for more family time. A fight to kill some bad habits. A fight to work harder at marriage and parenting than sometimes I wanted do. A fight to make it worth it.
I don't think I won many fights in 2011. In fact if you could look at my soul & mind it'd look to be pretty bruised at times. But you can't win every battle, but you better win the war.

What about a key word you'd like to focus on in 2012?

Mine is listen.
I want to listen to God's voice. I wanna listen for where the real needs of my family are. I wanna listen for where I need to lead well as a pastor. I wanna listen so when the moment hits I can speak it & it be worth the words I share.

You can comment or message me what your word is & why if you care

Memories........

2011-12-24T11:30:00.000-08:00

When Christ came he came more for a holiday to be created...he came with power to create redemption & remind us what purpose, destiny & meaning for our lives is about

Memories...

2011-12-23T11:30:00.000-08:00

Remember when the Christmas story was told with child like joy & fun? It's like it's real & moving & mesmerizing & stirs something in you!

Memories

2011-12-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

This time of year it's easy to remember why Christmas, December & the Holiday season can be fun or actually painful.

I remember those Christmas' where a gift surprised me with joy.
I also remember the Christmas we got a phone call informing us a family member had passed away.
I love to embrace those memories of loving hugs with all of our family together.
I've enjoyed the "Baby's first Christmas" with each of our boys.
I also remember the Christmas everyone was sick while flying across country to then land at an airport & go straight to an emergency room.
I remember the blizzard that hit Colorado one year and LOVED the 3' of snow we had.
I remember my first Christmas spent in California & hearing a lawn mower on Christmas day make me sick to my stomach.

This little video can also be a fun additive to make you smile this week of Christmas:

Simply Youth Ministry

2011-12-20T09:19:00.000-08:00

I was fortunate enough to be asked by Kurt Johnston and Jake Rutenbar to do a live SYM Podcast Show.

The discussion was on Church Chaos and you can view it here;

http://show.simplyyouthministry.com/2011/12/episode-21-surviving-church-chaos/

Questions are Ok

2011-12-19T10:30:00.000-08:00

We've been doing this series in all of student ministry

It's been insightful for some and blasé for others. Of those that have found it insightful and told me so is because we've given students room to offer doubt & questions in public. Each of the verses or sections of scripture we've taught on we've helped students see the deeper story. And a large part of those accounts we have looked at bring about questions of doubt and uneasiness.

Creating space for people to wrestle with their faith and have doubt at the same time is a powerful way for people to be able to own their faith. Here's few thoughts I have as to why;

1- Nothing is perfect or makes perfect sense. By nature faith is a TRUST. To Trust something, especially the idea of God or Nature of God, without having all the answers keeps the power in the divine. Students know the world is broken and to have a place to ask questions that reflect those doubts without ridicule or harassment allows them to actually ask a question while looking for answer.
2- Doubts are natural. Every kid on the side of a pool being prompted to jump to a parent wonders if that parent really will catch them. Many teenagers question if God's truth really will alter their life or is just a moral message to prevent eternal damnation. Giving them room to process those doubts out loud gives them room to feel like their voice matters.
3- I believe God works in places of doubt. Look through the Psalms, about 1/3 are of doubt or lament....yet God still shows up. The accounts in scripture of God showing up through the doubt or loss of hope is IMMENSE. God moves in places of doubt & when Students experience that faith roots grow much deeper

I love giving students opportunities in community settings to share honest feelings & be encouraged that being perfect and having everything all together is how you follow Jesus.

Sticks & Stones....

2011-12-18T17:16:00.000-08:00

I saw this image on the web a while back & have it saved on my desk top. I've looked at it often as a reminder that my words can either be volatile or life giving.

This picture, to some degree, explains a little about my childhood. I had a step-father that verbally lashed out to me and my mom. The words sat in the extremities of my being and as development in my life happened the statements of doubt, discouragement & lack of identity were always there to fight. Now I'm thankful I had a mom & grandmother who constantly spoke encouragement and value into my life and I learned to listen to their voices over my step-fathers.

The reason I think this picture is so gripping visually is the choke-hold illustration. Words of negativity, degradation, defame, hurt, insensitivity & message that say you're not worth anything can choke the life out of people. Don't believe me? Observe the world around you. How many people do you work with or know that lack confidence? Whom have you interacted with that communicates with pain & spite? Ever wonder why they behave that way? When you encourage someone consistently what happens to them, do they fall apart or do they get built up?

Any type of leadership role you need to consider your words. Husband, father, V.P., coach, CFO, manager, teacher, Doctor, contractor...whatever you do in your day realize what you are saying to others affects them.

I'm a father of two boys....this picture IS NOT what I want to do to either of them. I want my words to affirm them, guide them, instruct them, empower them, encourage them, speak truth & love to them.

Summer of Faith-Updated

2011-12-16T23:17:00.000-08:00

For those of who have donated, THANK YOU!! For those of you who'd like to donate the link is at the bottom of this post!

UGANDA, AFRICA.

Micah 6:8 “He has told you,

O man, what is good; and what does the LORD

require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?”

As Parents we feel that this is a great opportunity to expose our kids to a culture & setting they’ve never seen. But deeper than that we believe this journey together will be a significant stepping stone in our kids faith at an early age. We want them so see how God is moving in the world. So after praying about it and talking with the boys we are going on this adventure together as a family.

1 Thessalonians 2:8 “Because we loved you so much,

we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well”

So for the few of you who read my blog I am asking for you to pray with us. We ask that you pray for us and the other team members that God’s hand will be in all we do, pray for the people of Uganda that their hearts will be open and that they will be willing to receive God's love and pray that we will be able to share God’s grace in every way possible.

Will you be praying with us as we get ready for this adventure and while we are on it as well. If God leads you to give and help us financially click here and designate your donation to "Uganda 2012 ‐ (first and last name of person you are supporting and/or general ALL TEAM gift) or you can contact me for an address to send a check. The cost is $3,000 per person so as a family we are needing to raise $12,000, any help that you can make is greatly appreciated.

We are looking forward to what God is going to do in and through us as we faithfully step out as a family on this adventure!

This is a picture of the exact playground we will be shipping & building

Push Through It...

2011-12-14T23:37:00.000-08:00

We all hit moments where we just want to throw in the towel and give up or assume things won't change. It could be relationships, finances, job settings or your favorite sports team. You have two options to either give up or work hard to get through the "funk".

Pushing Through It usually takes time, energy and diligence. Diligence to keep hope alive, diligence to keep a work ethic alive and diligence to see a chance occur. The day to day grind can be very wearing but when the break through happens you are able to smile and enjoy the moment.

Leaders learn how to push through the tough moments. Little by little, chunk by chunk you know its worth the fight to see something healthy happen.

What do you need to push through right now?

What is wearing on your Soul that is making you want to throw in the towel? Is it worth it?

A verse for encouragement;
Proverbs 8:17
"I love those who love me and those who seek me diligently will find me"

Baptisms

2011-12-13T16:05:00.000-08:00

"Explain it Better"

2011-12-12T15:51:00.000-08:00

The other day I heard an ESPN Radio analysis say these words to a co-host during a conversation they were having. The co-host wasn't really "selling" his argument very well and the host say "Explain it better so I do understand what you are saying"

I love it.

I know how I communicate affects the what I communicate.

As a husband & father how I communicate to those I live with needs to match what I am feeling. I can't let the pace of life or other frustrations affect my feelings to those I care most about. I need my wife to feel love when I say, "I Love You". I need my sons to know I am proud of them when I say, "I am proud of you".

As a pastor what I communicate to students is critical. How I communicate it can affect whether they actually listen. I need to engage my mind & ideas so students don't just hear words in the air but practical & theological truth for their life.

If people are confused as to my motives, where my mindset is at or what I really mean when I talk with them the message I have for them can be blurry. I don't want messages of truth, hope, faith, love, care, support, instruction, honesty, encouragement or sacrifice to be cluttered because i'm too lazy to be sure that my message isn't just about my words.

People I've Learned From part 6 of 6

2011-12-09T22:33:00.000-08:00

Doug Fields--Youth Ministry Longevity

The year was 1999 and I was in college. I picked up this book and read it. I thought to myself while reading it "this might work".

I didn't grow up in the church or around youth ministry and really had no clue what youth ministry leadership was about. As I read Doug's book my view of what healthy youth ministry could be was being shaped & formed with a great philosophy.

A crazy thing happened in May of 2003 after we moved to California. I was able to attend a 3 day workshop with Jim Burns of HomeWord. I knew of Jim from classes in college and loved his focus on healthy families. I was very ecstatic to sit with him, learn from him with about 30 other people at Azusa Pacific University. After one of the workshops I talked with Jim for about 45 minutes at a Starbucks about my desire to team with families and my view of what I thought youth ministry should be about. He replied to me "I've got someone tomorrow I'd like to introduce you too. I think you'll like him and what he has to say." That next day, Doug Fields came to teach.

Doug gave me his email based on Jim's recommendation and the rest is history. I've had the blessing of sitting in Doug's living room & backyard sharing time with him and other youth pastors who are passionate about youth ministry. I've sat one-on-one with Doug over meals talking about leadership and my desires for youth ministry.

I've learned a lot from Doug in person and through his teaching & leadership. One of the main things has been the importance of ministry longevity and how you can sustain your own personal life, as well as leadership life, to stay in ministry long term. Doug has always been honest and upfront about what healthy leaders need to do.

A constant voice Doug has always shared has been relying on the power of God. If we ever remove our dependency on God from our ministry leading, marriage, personal life, parenting or any other area we will never be in the right place to be used by God the most effectively. Doug has also challenged leaders to be sure that their family is NEVER sacrificed for the ministry. To sustain in ministry there needs to be a healthy balance between personal life & ministry life. If you don't work to keep that balance there will be burn on and consequence along the way.

I've learned a lot from Doug Fields and feel very honored that he has invested in me personally. I am grateful for Doug's mantle of leadership that he has shared with thousands of youth leaders around the world. I'm grateful that my 11 years of youth ministry has a direct correlation to the mentoring Doug Fields has had in my life.

People I Learn From part 5 of 6

2011-12-08T09:59:00.000-08:00

Brian Berry--"Better" is Worth Fighting For

Ever meet someone who is as loud as life but is as gentle as a puppy? How about someone who can look at any problem and say "I can fix that" and actually mean it? How about someone who laughs like they actually are living life to the fullest?

Meet my friend, Brian Berry.

Brian is a man of many talents, but the biggest one is being a husband of 1 & father of 5 kids. Brian is a Youth Pastor veteran of 18 years and has a ministry track record of "GET IT DONE" personna. Brian is someone who is always, and I mean ALWAYS, working to making everything he is involved with better. He is one of the few people I've met that fights every day as hard as he can to make life better. In the 4 years that I've been privilege to share life, family & ministry with Brian I have learned from him that Better is really worth fighting for. Better marriage, better parenting, better ministry setting for students, better explosions, better food....BETTER is worth fighting for.

Brian has been a confident friend who is someone that I can make the emergency phone call to cry on his shoulder, a fellow dad I can share highlights & lowlights of parenting with, a youth pastor I can team with to allow ministry to be more effective & someone that can make me laugh. Brian is a guy that I LOVE being around. He is the type of person that when you share life with him you are challenged to fight for a better life. You are challenged to work hard at what you are doing to make it better because of Brian's encouragement.

I've learned from Brian Berry that a Better life, ministry, marriage, parenting, leadership skills or desert explosions are all worth fighting for to make it happen.

People I Learn from part 4 of 6

2011-12-06T11:30:00.000-08:00

Kim Bowers [My Wife]--Creativity is Worth It

My wife can make beauty out of the most random stuff. I swear my wife looks at a pile of the most odds and ends things and she designs artsy, crafty works of wonder. The beauty she creates inspires me and my sons. My wife has a creative mind.

She looks at life through the eye of an artist, she embraces the little nuances that most people walk past, she pauses over little elements, looks intently at the unique and she helps our family enjoy life a little differently. I can't tell you how many subtle nuances she notices when we are outdoors hiking, on the beach, looking at art, taking pictures, reading a book together or just randomly talking.

But why is creativity so inspiring? Why is it when we see someone, or something, so creative we stop and feel a little bit of awe or wonder? I am convinced that we enjoy creative elements in life because we aren't able to do "THAT". Think about it, the last time you saw something creative what thoughts came to your mind? For me it is usually, "How did they do that?".

I long to be better than what I am. I long to be more talented in all the areas I have ZERO talent in. I want to be able to inspire people. I want to be able to motivate people by my mind, talents, heart & birthing of my soul....basically I get jealous of those who are better than me. My wife's creativity with arts, crafts, photography makes me jealous. But I've discovered this is a good jealousy. It's a jealousy that drives me to tell her to KEEP IT UP! When she keeps creating she helps me see life through a different lens, she gives my sons a perspective on life that is helping them form who they are, she is using the gifts God has given her and she is being human in the most beautiful sense.

Here is the hard part for me. Being Creative means you have to slow down enough in life to express the creativity in you in ways that take practice. Creativity takes time. Creativity DOES NOT just happen. It is processed, it is cultivated, it is thought upon, it is experienced, it is tried, it is practiced. It takes time to allow all of that to happen.

I've learned from my wife that the details in all areas help life to be more Creative. My wife has helped my lens for creativity increase and she has helped me gain a stronger desire to observe creativity in my daily life. I've learned from my wife that when we are creative and we allow creativity to be in our life we actually live life with a lighter step, a sense of being ALIVE, a joy for the radical in the mundane & we rub off on people.

I love my wife for a lot of reasons, but I've learned that Creativity is Worth it.

People I Learn from part 3 of 6

2011-12-03T11:00:00.000-08:00

Don Brust--Standards

It's always a little scary asking a man if you can have permission to marry his daughter. My experience was no different. My father-in-law is a great man. He loves pastries, football, ministry & laughter. But something I've always observed in his life is he is a man of standards.

Be it how you handle conversations, church leadership, marriage, kids, buying a car or choosing the type of paint to use. Everything has a standard & you want to go for the best.

Don Brust planted a church and for 30+ years was the Senior Pastor. For 10 years he served a District Superintendent of 80 churches, he was basically a pastor to all the pastors in 5 states with our denomination. He has a caring heart and a strong willed view on a lot of areas of life. He loves the local church and has served it well.

I'll never forget sitting on a porch with him, drinking sweet tea or a coke talking about anything and everything. I'll never forget the assurance he gave me that "his daughter will be in good hands" or the affirmation he gave me after each of my sons were born. I'll always be indebted to him for sharing the family cinnamon roll recipe as well as all the knowledge he has about being hands on fixing or repairing almost anything.

Don Brust is a man who I respect and has challenged me to live a life that is willing to do the right thing with standards. I'm grateful he let me marry his daughter as well as accepting me as a son-in-law.

People I Learn From part 2 of 6

2011-12-02T09:30:00.000-08:00

Dr. Hustand--Question Everything

I had this great mentor in college. Little did I know he would alter my entire life. I walked into Theology I as a freshman in college having known Jesus for only about 9 months I knew this class would be interesting. But what was really the interesting part was the professor who took notice into my life. Dr. Arnold Hustad.

A man who loved Nebraska football, Play Station, his wife & theology. About every other week I'd sit in his office asking him questions about Philosophy, Theology, Psychology, the Scriptures, dating, relationships and through it all HE NEVER ANSWERED ANYTHING!! The man was an expert at dodging my search for answers by forcing me to think deeper. I'll remember him saying one time "Why NOT question everything?" And it hit me, Questions are a great way to learn who you really are.

So it began, the ability for me to question an area of life deeper with more thought & care than i was originally giving to it.

By my senior year we had developed a good friendship, some inside jokes and a lot of office time. And what really shocked me was the day I asked a question and he answered it. It took 4 years for him to do that, but what he said to me after he gave me a straight forward answer will always be a fond memory I have. Dr. Hustad said, "You've learned to think for yourself deeper and more broad so I know you won't just copy my answer". That my friends was one of the greatest compliment I've ever been given.

I owe a lot of my development as a young adult in college to Dr. Hustad and with much gratitude I made it into his commencement speech to our graduating class. He actually made fun of me in that speech but it was worth it. It was worth the time sitting in his office being forced to think. It was worth the time asking questions out loud with a man who had a great deal of life experience I could glean from. It was worth being vulnerable enough to ask random questions.

To this day I still use some of the learning tools Dr Hustad imparted to me. Questions.

Questions are powerful resources you have at your disposal to be sure that what you think is as important as how you are thinking. I often wonder what life would be like if I still had Dr Hustad to sit with a time or two a month to talk about anything & everything.

I pray my sons have their own Dr Hustad in their life at the right moment to help them know how to QUESTION EVERYTHING.

People I learn from Part 1 of 6

2011-11-30T09:30:00.000-08:00

My Mom--Never Quit

You learn a lot being the oldest child. You learn you are a guinea pig for your parents on how parenting should work, you learn your younger siblings will get spoiled, you learn that life isn't always greener once you leave for college and you learn that what you face is hard isn't hard until you encounter something else.
You also learn a lot when you watch your parent go through heartache, pain, frustration & loss.

I've learned a lot from my mom and most of it centers around the mindset of NEVER QUIT. My mom endured my biological father walking out on us when I was 3 months old & a remarriage and another divorce to a man who gave up on the marriage and parenting. She worked two jobs to keep my sister and I fed, clothed & able to still have the ability to enjoy life to some degree.

At 48 my mom changed jobs & career fields. At 51 she changed career fields again earning public & private accolades from some very prestiges industries. She has always taken a ton of pride in doing a good job & having fun. She adores her kids, grandkids, family & friends and throughout life has endured heartache, pain and frustration without ever sacrificing her care for those she loves the most. My mom would bend over backwards to conquer the world for those she cares about deeply.

My mom has modeled a NEVER QUIT attitude and I am deeply grateful for that.

That mindset and attitude is easily a reason why I want to work hard at my marriage, as a parent & with life. If I quit something it is because it's a bad habit or a destructive behavior...i don't quit things that matter.

I've learned a lot from my mom, but a trait I have you can easily trace to her is NEVER QUIT

Dad, Thanks....

2011-11-29T11:00:00.000-08:00

For 3 years now myself, a friend & our kids roll out to the desert the Friday after Thanksgiving to go bond. It's been a tradition that my sons look forward to A LOT. They ask & double check about all the friends they get to play with, they ask if we get to make large explosions and they truly look forward to this experience because it is one they love. It is a tradition that has rich reward for them and for me.

This desert experience has created some rich joys for me as a dad as well. It has given me some great moments with a friend that truly feel priceless to me. It also forces me to have some humble moments and realize that I may not be the best dad, but dang it I try hard to give my sons a childhood that'll help them step into manhood well.

I love seeing my kids smile at the joy of exploring life with friends.

I love teaching my sons the art of using a gun or bow & arrow appropriately. By nature it is allowing me to teach them a skill that is significant in helping them GROW UP.

I love seeing my kids laugh with friends over a simple creation that causes a lot of fun

I love having friends who are a joy to share life with.

I love trying to give my kids an experience I never had.

Love

2011-11-28T21:24:00.001-08:00

Love is more than a moment or a feeling, it is an action. It is only experienced when selflessness is greater than selfishness....

My week summed up

2011-11-17T21:46:00.001-08:00

This week here are my learnings:

My calendar is my calendar. I need to own it, control it & not let anyone else try to jack with it.
Students are hurting & so are there families, but not everyone wants helps. Sometimes sitting back is the hardest part of youth ministry.
Jesus will wait for me. My personal time in the scriptures this week hasn't been for nourishment or connection. I feel the Holy Spirit telling me "I'm HERE"...but i've had a lousy time saying "so am I"
I miss Colorado. I miss the fall, the snow, the seasons, the slow drivers, the easy hiking & outdoor opportunities....oh and the cheaper cost of living.
I've got some incredible students who I'm watching grow into disciples of Jesus. I'm blessed, encouraged, humbled & challenged that they allow their life to intersect with mine!
I like my church staff. This week I've laughed a lot with many of them.
My wife is gorgeous, my sons are young men who need me & our family is enjoying the journeys of life right now
This picture i really love...and yes I will make a video about it real soon!

Youth Ministry Is Worth It

2011-11-13T21:44:00.001-08:00

Tonight we did a Church on Location change to our normal high school service. We met at the beach in San Clemente with 5 student baptisms. One of them was Austin. I love this first picture because before we baptized Austin his father and I prayed over him. The imagery of this picture is so powerful to me. Two men helping holding up a younger man during a wave to be sure he doesn't fall. Austin has a great relationship with his dad and sadly this is a minority in my ministry setting. But to have this honor with Austin's dad was so fun!

Austin is a student I've known for the last 2 years and I've watched him grow as a young man trying to follow Jesus into a MAN who is following Jesus. Austin is a student who weekly is wrestling with his faith, sharing his faith and trying to use his life to bless others. Austin is a senior in high school who doesn't just talk about making a difference but he actually makes a difference with his life.

As a youth pastor Austin is the type of student who is willing to rub shoulders with me in leadership & in life. So proud of Austin for taking this step of faith in declaring to the world his life is radically altered based on his desire to follow Jesus.

What Do You Do When You Don't Know What To Do?

2011-11-10T12:49:00.001-08:00

I love learning.

I love to ask questions to seek insight.

And, I hate not knowing the answers! I hate when people ask me a question and I feel stumped.

In short, I both enjoy being proficient and dislike not knowing what to do or how to do something.

I guess I’ve always been a student. I’ve been in full-time youth ministry for 11 years. I’ve seen a lot, learned a lot, and messed up a lot. I’m still trying to figure out each season of ministry in an effort to be as effective as possible for the Kingdom, my church, and my own ministry team.

Again, I’ve always enjoyed the journey of learning and growing. And I’ve always found myself opposed to the mentality of “we’ve got it figured out so we’re all set.” Why? Because this mindset screams of a lack of motivation and leadership. It’s prideful. The “I know it all” mentality is extremely unhealthy.

So what do we do when we don’t know what to do? What are some steps we take to learn? Looking back, I tend to see myself do these four things when I am looking to know:

I Ask People I Respect

I have a group of people I respect and know that no matter what question I ask of them, they won’t think I’m an idiot. I won’t hear what they have to say as threatening. They are my soundboard and I love the out loud conversations we have together.

I Read

I love learning through reading & reflecting. I read articles or books from people I like (as well as agree with) and I read article or books of people I don’t always like or agree with. I read to evaluate and think. I don’t read to get a warm fuzzy in my tummy.

I Pray

Last I checked the Holy Spirit is better at guiding, directing, creating, convicting, redeeming, and revamping everything in life than I am. But when I pray I HAVE TO LISTEN and not just talk. I need to be willing to submit. And that my friend isn’t always easy . . . but it is worth it.

I Let Go

I let go of the need to feel perfect, competent, or “the best” in the area I’m wrestling or lacking in. I don’t want my feeling of inadequacy or any other feeling to lead me to act like an imbecile based on pride or arrogance! I need to remind myself that I’m still a broken and imperfect being whom God loves and wants to use in a leadership capacity. That doesn’t mean I have to be someone I am not.

So that’s what I do as I seek to learn and grow. What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

This was also posted to YouthMinistry360 Blog here

Danny Bowers shared an Instagram photo with you

2011-11-04T17:50:00.001-07:00

Hi there,

Danny Bowers just shared an Instagram photo with you:

view full image

"...and Jesus said ENJOY"

Thanks,
The Instagram Team

Danny Bowers shared an Instagram photo with you

2011-11-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

Danny Bowers just shared an Instagram photo with you:

view full image

"Lunch date"

Thanks,
The Instagram Team

Summer of Faith

2011-11-03T13:18:00.000-07:00

This summer we are stepping out on an adventure.

We are taking a group of high school and college students and a few parents, to

UGANDA, AFRICA.

We will be partnering with Kids Around the World to install a playground at the orphanage which houses over 200 orphans. A cargo container will be shipped from a local port on February 15, 2012, carrying the playground equipment as well as 25,000 meal packets that our church will be assembling with help from a group of local high school students. When we arrive in July, we will be assembling the playground as well as distributing the meal packets to the community of Masaka. Our team will also lead a VBS program for children in the local communities of Masaka as well as help the medical clinic and school at the orphanage.

Micah 6:8 “He has told you,

O man, what is good; and what does the LORD

require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?”

1 Thessalonians 2:8 “Because we loved you so much,

we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well”

We are looking forward to what God is going to do in and through us as we faithfully step out as a family on this adventure!

Teens & Death

2011-11-02T13:30:00.000-07:00

A month ago we did a funeral for 18 year old girl who was tragically killed in an accident. We easily had 150 students in our church from the local high school she attended. During the ceremony we had a time for an open microphone sharing opportunity and it was interesting to hear the language, ideas & emotions students shared at the funeral service.

There was a lot of talk of the deceased girls "spirit".

That her spirit would "always be with us" and when we "visit the restaraunt that was her favorite she'll be there with us". Many phrases like this continue to show people that spirituality is something that teens are willing to wrestle with. Spirituality allows people to cross the finite boundaries and create ideas that the after life is desirable and those we lose have the ability to still be around us. Taking opportunity to talk about the afterlife, heaven, death, resurrection isn't as hard as people think it is. Timing is usually everything with those conversations with teenagers.

There were a lot of empty promises to the family.

Statements made to the mom & sister of the girls who died resemble the "I'll ALWAYS be there for you". The hard part is I've seen enough funerals & known enough situations where the people that make those promises forget what they said within a week. I get the heart & emotion behind the statement because for most students they've heard similar statements and think it is the right thing to say. Now there will be those handful that don't forget the families loss and will be there to encourage and just be present but many will forget. I totally understand why things are said, but I know personally how families feel when people do forget about their loss.

Death, tragedy & loss creates emotionally charged reactions

Students are emotionally unstable in a lot of situations because the context of their experiences is so limited and physiologically they are emotionally charged as well. In those moments students feed off the emotions of those around them. Twice there were young ladies without any tears on their face until they were waiting in line to share publicly and the "forced tears" happened. I sat back & watched and it was interesting to see who these ladies were trying to make eye contact with as they "cried". I'm not trying to make fun of these situations but it is interesting to watch & observe some of these interactions. It is also interesting to hear those students share who would say "Hey i only met her once at taco bell but she seemed like great person...." and they'd share more about their feelings than sharing about the girl who died and her life. To me, those moments felt very narcissistic instead of focussing on the family and the girl who died.

Emotions run high, death isn't easy to handle and at the end of the day it was a beautiful remembrance of a young girl who I would agree, died way too soon in her life. It was also interesting observation of a dynamic in student culture that you don't see everyday.

Youth Pastor's Article

2011-11-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

Here is an article I wrote for Youthministry.com to give youth pastors an idea on who to be sure business in students lives doesn't affect the student community...

School has started, homework loads have begun, Facebook venting is at a premium over the insanity of teachers & your students are nowhere in site thanks to this lovely word…BUSINESS.
It’s sad when the fall hits and you actually anticipate a certain % decrease in attendance because of business—so why not fight it! That's right...stand against it, and show your students how to fight it as well.....

....you can read the rest at this link

http://www.youthministry.com/articles/leadership/battle-business-bug

If You Really Knew Me part 3

2011-11-01T10:38:00.001-07:00

Meet Jared
A dude who loves to hunt, fish, camp, hike and blow things up. Therefore this students is cool in my book! Love his heart, story & his teachability! Looking forward to continuing to watch this young man grow as a disciple of Jesus-

Questions to ponder

2011-10-28T13:25:00.000-07:00

While I was in the desert with our guys from our church we asked everyone to take 30 minutes to wrestle with these questions. I LOVED this time to process and filled my journal with a lot of thoughts. I was proud of most of the guys how serious they took this and even the feedback I heard from each of them about this expertise.

Where Have I Been? What in my life has gotten me to this place/person I am in life?

Where Am I Now? What does my life look like today?

Where Am I Headed?

My Current Path is leading me....

My Dream Would be....

My Fear is that...

Maybe you should take some time, fill out these questions today? You might be surprised at what God's Spirit may speak to you on!

SUMMER of FAITH

2011-10-27T13:17:00.000-07:00

This summer we are stepping out on an adventure.

We are taking a group of high school and college students and a few parents, to

UGANDA, AFRICA.

Micah 6:8 “He has told you,

O man, what is good; and what does the LORD

require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness,

and to walk humbly with your God?”

1 Thessalonians 2:8 “Because we loved you so much,

we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well”

We are looking forward to what God is going to do in and through us as we faithfully step out as a family on this adventure!

This is a picture of the exact playground we will be shipping & building

Desert, Danger, Different

2011-10-25T13:16:00.000-07:00

For the past 4 years I've partnered with a friend & brother in ministry and life named Brian. We pull our high school guys together, retreat to the desert & have a blast in more way than one. This event is probably a top 3 event our high school ministry does because of the value it has in my life as a pastor and the life of the young men in my ministry.

This year we focussed on some great visuals on how to communicate some great truths to these young men. Truths about their actions & the power they have, lying and their mouth, purity of their heart & sexuality, avoiding temptations and living life with a different perspective. We had some GREAT visual aids from this resource that helped us be able to emphasize the fun factor and the truth elements of our talks.

The trip includes guns, explosions, bonding, paintballs & a whole lot of laughter. But here are three take aways for me;

1- God moves. God moves in desert places be it either life or physical desert places but God moves. God tugs on young men's & old men's hearts to be willing to align life with Him. God, in His moving, also reveals to us where our lives seem "off" from the life He would have for us. To watch & listen to young men verbalize, process, reflect an embrace that brings tears to my eyes at the hope of the difference of the life this young man can now live!

2- Dangerous things are fun. We allow guys to be guys, to experience things they can't do in their backyard without being charged with a felony and just laugh at it. Fireworks, gas explosions, guns, things that make BIG BOOMS...guys embrace it & love it! It helps with bonding & also encourages guys to realize that what this weekend is about is different for them than any other weekend they experience together.

3- Modeling a healthy call to a faith in Jesus that is dangerous. Brian says it often and I echo it that I don't want to raise SAFE guys in my ministry but dangerous guys that'll live dangerously in their faith for Jesus. To be safe means no risk and last I checked EVERY disciple of Jesus had to embrace risk in their life as they lived in pursuit of the faith. I want guys to remember what we model to them so 10 years from now they'll remember that they aren't alone.

If You Really Knew Me week 2

2011-10-16T23:38:00.000-07:00

Week 2 was tonight and this young man is really trying to own his faith, wrestle with the things of God and is mature beyond his years....even if he is the freshman who still thinks pranks on the youth pastor is a good idea :) MUCH LOVE SETH!!

Lead Upwards

2011-10-15T13:48:00.000-07:00

This last week my Senior Pastor asked me to lead upward about some changes that our staff has made, some new "surprises" the church has in store as well as on a staff level. This isn't the first time he's asked me to lead up & the fact that I have a Senior Pastor who asks this I truly appreciate. But I've been thinking that leading up isn't just about sharing a voice.

Here a few things I think leading upwards does means;

1-Upstream
I love to fly-fish. I enjoy the challenge, the scenery and the patience it takes. Every time I've landed a great trout it has been in an area where only the stronger, faster trout have been able to swim against a current to get to a great feeding pool. It takes a lot of energy to keep at ministry. You have to swim upstream against opinions, being a non-profit with finances, attitudes & personal discrepancies with your leadership or congregation members. Your upper management or leadership DO NOT need you to add to those upstream battles. They do need you to help fight & overcome them. To lead upwards means you help handle the upstream challenges that'll come with "big boy" pants on to work hard, lead well & be a part of the team.

2- Keep climbing

Growing up in Colorado meant mountain climbs & hikes. There is nothing like being almost to the summit, being a little tired, legs a little sore and seeing the horizon break over that last ridge of a hike. It's thrilling to smile & know "we made it". The problem with ministry...we never make it. To me we never get to see the summit we're climbing after until we die. So each day we put one foot in front of the other & as a team encourage each other to keep climbing. So being a team player maybe leading up is you grab some slack in an area that isn't healthy and put some energies into it to get it healthy. Offer to bring up the "rear" so nobody gets left behind on a project, ministry initiative or any other church project. Don't be the guy who packs all the right gear, wears the right clothes but then puts everyone else in danger cause you get narrow minded & "just wanna do things your way" along the way.

3- Don't be silent

Leading upwards means your voice needs to be constantly encouraging but never irrational. What you bring up in private & public settings needs to be constant. If you're always bouncing all over the place with what you're saying & the values you are communicating your input will feel scattered brain & even give people a headache. Your voice needs to be words of truth, wisdom & care for the team. That doesn't mean you have to act like a cheerleader, but it does mean you don't get on a soap box yelling through a blow horn...unless the ship you're on is sinking & nobody is getting in a life boat. Leading upward means you offer perspective, your perspective, as well as acknowledging the values other people have.

What I've Learned About How I am Learning...

2011-10-14T13:00:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been challenging myself to wrestle with what I am learning & how I am retaining it. Regardless of my learning tool being a book, podcast, online article, conversation with someone, etc. I am pushing myself to engage deeper with life with more thorough learnings.

I've always loved to learn and this exercise has been fun but I've seen a couple things seem to work well for me;

1- Write down key thoughts or statements from conversation and revisit them within a few hours of the conversation. Think about them, repeat them out loud and even be a devil's advocate to the situation in how I question the incident or setting.

2- Re-read what left an initial impression. When I read something & think "oooo that's good" then I've always underlined it and have always had a good retention to know where certain things are at in certain books. But lately I'll re-read my last notes from the last time I read before I start a new chapter or section. Yes this is more time consuming but I've also noticed that I keep thinking about these key thoughts longer & put them into practice.

3- Create trial experiments & situations. Part of this is what I am focussing on with what I am reading but I am trying to implement ideas, principles or even theological statements into life immediately to wrestle with them.

4- Find safe people to "talk out loud" with. Learning alone with nobody to share things with is lame. I've been able to bounce ideas off these friends knowing they might not agree with me, but their questions will help me process what is going on inside of me.

Feel free to comment with your thoughts about any of this especially if something I've listed here helps you as you grow. Hey encouragement is nice to spread around & share people :)

Being a Youth Pastor's Kid

2011-10-12T13:14:00.000-07:00

This past Sunday night we did a silly mixer with some of our adult leaders called 2 Truths and 1 Lie. Basically you sit 3 people in front of a group, have them share 3 statements about themselves and then students try to guess what the lie is. It can be fun and quirky & it always seems to be a challenge we've done well with the adults and or students we've put up front.
The funny, or not so funny, thing this past weekend was I had a NO-SHOW volunteer (shocker right?) that was supposed to be one of the contestants. Since he didn't' come I filled in. One of my truth statements was "I've been arrested". Now we all have pasts and grace is beautiful, but sharing that truth & then the story later to the crowd of high school students beginning for the backstory was my kids were in the room.

That's right, the night my 8 & 7 year old visited a ministry night was the night their dad revealed to them I've been arrested. This was something I knew I'd tell them at some point in time in their life but I didn't want them to find out THAT WAY.

So here is my learnings:
1- Know your audience! I had a good reminder of "do the quick room scan before you say something like that" moment.

2- I sat my kids down at breakfast on Monday & told them the truth. The whole story of me getting arrested. I let them ask questions & I answered them 100%. I asked them how it made them feel & I reminded them that nobody is perfect & everybody needs Jesus. I honestly felt it was a great Dad & Sons moment even though I don't know totally how they processed it.

3- I had to wrestle with my own doubts & voices saying things like "now your kids think you're a screw-up" & "what a moron...letting your kids find out about your stupidity as a teenager". I had to stop those voices and listen for God's voice. I'm not trying to over spiritualize this but I was reminded of the grace of Jesus in my own life and wanted to let it be a model for my sons.

4- I had to answer a phone call from a parent who "was surprised to find the youth pastor had a record (it expunged at age 18)". I just told the parent they'd be really surprised if they knew how I used to live & what I did get away with :)....and yes those will be stories to my kids at a later date

Break Down the Barriers

2011-10-10T13:14:00.000-07:00

For over 10 years I've watched a repetitive truth about teenagers, "They desire to be cared for, but don't want to be known." Casually students are ok with a little knowledge about themselves being out there and since the spur of MySpace, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, FormSpring, etc students are willing to create their own identity but the REAL THEM is still hidden.

On a human developmental side of things it is a natural life stage they are going through. They are processing who they really are, what their world really looks like as well as they are re-shuffling the deck on the values & ideals they've always had and its vulnerable to stick your neck out on a limb and share with your peers or the world who they really are for fear of rejection or isolation.
However, they still need to be known because how else can you really care for another person if you don't really know what they are going through?

We started this new series to help address that this year for our high school students;

The premise is each week a student will share their story via video, then after the video I'll do a live 4-5 question interview and open the room up for students in the audience to ask questions of the student up front. Our hope is that this series will challenge our students to continue to "walk across the room" and share life, faith, hope, struggles, joys & everything in between. My hope is the faith example of the student sharing will encourage others to embrace life with Jesus or begin their life with Jesus.

We kicked off Sunday night with a student whose always been a close student to Kim and I--enjoy & feel free to comment your thoughts.

Gotta Love Dogs

2011-10-09T13:55:00.001-07:00

Even in moments like this as a dog lover you smile...

Longevity of Ministry

2011-09-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

I got this text from a college student a couple days ago;

I found a prayer journal entry from august 2008 saying that i was scared about high school group & praying that i wud like it more..God definately answered that!

This is a girl who went through our high school ministry, plugged into small groups, was on our student leadership team for 2 years & serves in the church. Notice that she was a typical student nervous about plugging into our student ministry her Sophmore year.

I need reminders like this text I got for two reasons:

1- It encourages me for the long haul. Youth ministry is NOT A SPRINT. It is a MARATHON in terms of effectiveness, changes & momentum. Often people, parents, pastors & youth workers think that change happens quickly. I think those people don't live in reality. Change that is healthy and sustaining in life does not happen over night, it takes some time. This girl spent 3 years in our ministry and I am sure it took all three years of experiences, leading & being cared for that allowed her to have a great student ministry experience.

2- Students are nervous about the experiences they expose themselves too. We need to remember WHERE THEY ARE AT in life & not where we think they are at. The only way is to get to know them and spend time listening to them. Two weeks after this girl first walked in the doors of our student room she was in the living room of one of our leaders & had coffee with another leader. All three experiences helped her see that our ministry truly cares for students & is here for them.

I love longevity in youth ministry, it allows me to see what the long haul does in the lives of students.

Encourage & Affirm

2011-09-28T23:34:00.000-07:00

If you don't believe that affirming & encouraging teenagers is critical watch this video...

Did you see the look on this 14 year olds face?

She was overwhelmed with the encouragement & affirmation she received after taking a risk for something she loves. Encouraging & affirming teenagers breathes LIFE into their souls. It allows them to tackle tough situations, believe they have what it takes to pursue their goals, risk & take a leap of faith and enjoy life.
This young girl may or may not win this competition, but I would wager my yearly salary that she'll feed off the encouragement she received this night for a long time!

If you are a youth worker, affirm & encourage the students around you.

If you are a parent, encourage & affirm your kids CONSTANTLY!

If you see a teenager today, AFFIRM them for something....trust me they need it.

If you are a leader, affirm & encourage your team. They'll enjoy it & it'll make the team stronger!

Wrestlings

2011-09-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

I saw this YouTube clip. It's 9 minutes long and you may need to watch it to track my blog post (last 1 minutes isn't from ABC it was an add on by the editor of the video).

Difference in opinion isn't an easy way to sum up this video, however there are some huge teaching elements in this.
Bottom line is there are people all over this world that believe, teach & hold to certain views that are never open for discussion. Regardless of what others view they stand their ground.
But the hard part for me is when people take the Bible & manipulate the message for their own view point.

5 years ago I'd be someone willing to yell at a Westboro member for the sake of argument, but that does nothing but fuel their mission. I believe that if people were to ignore Westboro they'd fall away silently. I think often the best way to win an argument with people that are so dogmatic in their views is to not give them attention. With all the ability to social media blast, blog attack & in person protest with people we may not agree with in religion, politics and other polarizing issues we only fuel their battle.
I love what Jesus says to his disciples in Luke 10 as he sends out people to preach the gospel. If people aren't accepting of the GRACE & PEACE you are bringing then keep moving on. Don't stay & argue and cause a scene, just move on.

The pastoral heart in me aches for the young girl, but the hope is she's found the grace & love of Jesus as opposed to the demoralizing message of people that she grew up hearing.

Groaning

2011-09-22T13:26:00.000-07:00

The angst & grumbling of the slow building rumbling deep within the bowels of oneself is a soft thunder that often declares...I am here.
Not the presence of joy, but unknown.
Not the joy filled bundled day, but the unknown.
Not the love that refreshes, but the unknown.

The unknown groaning of incompleteness, imperfection & insecurity that the next corner in life may not be what you want.

Groaning is that realization that my life isn't what I want it to be.

“The course of life is unpredictable. No one can write his autobiography in advance.”
Abraham Heschel

Good Job Dads

2011-09-21T23:17:00.000-07:00

Monday Night I made 39 personal phone calls to students homes who were interested in our high school small groups. Of those I called many were teenage girls and I notice something. About only half the parents, especially dads, screened the phone call to their daughter. I was pleasantly surprised how many parents I initially talked with when I called and you know those moments where the part of the phone is covered that you talk into and your hear things on the other end like "WHO IS IT? I don't know" If you don't know, but you do know that the voice is an older male shouldn't you investigate a little bit?
I actually applaud all the dad's who screened their daughters phone call. Kids may call it over protective, I call it being a smart parent. Daughters may feel embarassed but the dad's just trying to guard some creeper dude from being around their daughter.
I don't have daughters, but if I did I'd be screening their phone calls ALL the time.
Dad's good job screening the phone calls your daughter gets. Tell your friends who are dad's to do the same thing.

How to Use Your Day Off

2011-09-16T08:38:00.001-07:00

This is an article I wrote for YouthMinsitry.com

Messages are prepped, Small Group leaders have been communicated with, staff meetings are over, the critical emails have been answered, and now it’s time for you day off. You do take days off, right? Well here are a couple ideas for how to take full advantage of that time.

Go Dark

If you don’t turn off the cell phone, email, or doorbell to anyone but family, you should set up that boundary. There's nothing wrong with you putting some serious boundaries around who can have your time on your day off. For most youth workers we give and give of ourselves, and there needs to be a time where we can know we don’t have to be “on.” There will always be one more thing to do, but if you don’t take a break from the to-do list, you could be consumed by business and lose your effectiveness.

Love Your Family

I have a wife and two kids. I really try hard to care for them in the midst of my normal workweek schedule, but I make an extra effort to do something special for or with them on my day off. My marriage and my effectiveness as a parent is better when I pour into my family when I have no other distractions. Visit your kids at school, go on a lunch date with your wife, clean the house, or pick up the kids from school early and grab some ice cream. Love them practically, but intentionally

Read the rest here....

Colorado, Camping, Culture

2011-09-14T13:27:00.000-07:00

Colorado
Over the summer we were able to head home to Colorado for some time with extended family. Kim and I are from Colorado and we are very fond of our roots. We love the state, what it offers with season & being outdoors and we love the culture.
What do I mean by culture?
The Orange County part of Southern California moves at a pace & has an unspoken value system unlike any other area in the US we've lived. Much of the area we love and much of the area we dislike. It's funny when we go back to Colorado how easy it is to sink back into the culture there. The culture of a slower speed, both on the highways & in the day to day life. The culture of not being around the beach means that Botox, fake implants and orange spray isn't the "norm" for everyone. The culture that means diversity and multi-ethnicity is everywhere you go. I love being able to show my son's areas where Kim and I used to hang in high school & where we grew up!

Camping
We also camped this summer again in a favorite spot of ours, Yosemite. It was a great week with a ton of family time and memories. We've have become very fond of a few locations in Yosemite that allow us to kick back, relax, breathe deep of God' creation and just play with our kids. We explore & adventure off the beaten path to wherever we choose too. I love the family memories and foundations we are creating with our boys when it comes to the outdoors and this family tradition. I love being able to peel away the everyday and step into a simple way of life that is purely encompassed by the creation of God and the joy of just living!

Culture
I like going against the grain...always have and I think I always will. Part of that is what draws me to the teachings of Jesus in a 1st century set of eyes. To understand what & how Jesus taught YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE CULTURE He lived in...you also have to step back & realize that He is God. He spoke to the core of people and helped them see how they are living isn't the best way. I love being able to have an outside view on life compared to people around me that have always lived in and around Orange County. I enjoy being able to ask a couple question that bring a different perspective into the conversation. The culture I love the most tho is the culture of people who realize the gospel of Jesus needs to affect EVERY area of life and in that we all can learn, challenge, grow together while the Kingdom of Jesus is glorified. I am grateful for those at Mission Hills Church that are desiring & striving for just that.

"P"

2011-09-13T13:04:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking about two "P" words lately, so hear are my thoughts.

Parent--
I love being a dad. I never had a dad...well I never had a dad that showed me he wanted to be a dad. Since I was 13 I didn't have a male figure in my life and before 13 the male figures I had weren't worth jack. I've had to learn how to be a dad from other men in my life that I respect and value how they live their life. My role has a parent is unique. I truly believe that I am NOT raising really good kids. In fact I don't want to raise "really good kids". I want to raise kids who Love Jesus authentically, live for Him recklessly and are blessing to society. I actually might be ticked if I get older and my kids are known as just "really good kids".
As a dad I am trying to teach & train my kids manners, respect, values, Truth, fun & a ton of other stuff.

Pastor--
I am called to preach the gospel of Jesus Christ according to the Old & New Testament. I relish that role even though I fought God on this when He first started to nudge me. I enjoy seeing the gospel be accepted in to the lives of teenagers & watching transformation take place. I love being a voice of mercy, compassion, love, Truth in the every day life of people. This role has allowed me some great life opportunities that I don't know if I'd have in another area of life.

So there the P words I've been thinking about. In my thinkings I've had to ask myself some serious questions and here they are.

I love to teach scriptures, but do I model or preach it to my kids?

I want my sons to see that dad models what he believes and doesn't just talk about it. If I just talk about this "life changing message" but never live it out what good am I doing for my sons? I want to help my children learn how to think for themselves and in that I want them to have a flesh and bone model to reflect on.

What spirit passions do I have that I try to push on my kids or do I try to help them nurture their own?

This is a biggie for me as my sons are a bit older and beginning to show desires and passions of their own. I don't want to push my passions on my kids for the things of the kingdom, but want them to develop their own. I have a huge heart for oversea's justice missions, but if my kids have a huge heart for local backyard outreach I don't want them to feel bad cause they aren't doing what dad is doing. I want to create space for them to hear God's voice and follow him regardless of what it looks like.

Do I live the calling as a dad before the calling of a pastor?

If I answer Yes to this then I win, my family win's and the kingdom win's. If my calling as a pastor EVER and I mean EVER takes precedent over the biblical mandate to be a Godly husband and father then something is WAY out of whack. When that happens I have a friend who'll be at my front door with a 2x4 to smack me around....and that's after my wife does :)

I have a deep conviction & it is reflected biblically that my calling as a dad is greater than that of a pastor. This gives me freedom so I can say NO to "ministry" when family needs to be the YES.

Welcome to my cranium lately people! You are welcome to comment-

NEW LIFE = JOY

2011-09-12T09:05:00.000-07:00

Last night at SOUL, our High School Ministry, was seriously one of the best ever! Yes, in the 3.5 years I've been here it was a top 5. A ton of things happened that I had nothing to do with.
1- God has lined us this great relationship with Chris Elliot from Biola to lead worship for our High School Ministry. He is a gifted man with a pastor's heart that is allowing our student ministry to grow because we have another caring leader who wants to help teenagers embrace the reality of Christ!
2- God has moved in students hearts to engage with friends who don't know Christ to begin spiritual conversations with them. Because of that many students have connected to SOUL and last night in my office one of those students before our evening even started shared with me the desire to take a faith leap with Jesus for the first time.
3- After SOUL was over a student shared with me the reality that they've known of God, but until last night never really had the personal relationship with him.

I got to watch all this play out....but the moving of God's Spirit in people's is why this is so exciting! I echo what Brennan Manning says in THE FURIOUS LONG OF GOD on page 129

"Perhaps the gut issue is not how much Theology we have studied or how much Scripture we have memorized. All the really matters is this: Have you experienced the furious longing of God or not?"

These students have experienced the furious longing of God, and when anyone encounters that, you cannot ignore it or deny it's existence in your inner being!

Dang I love my job & am excited to watch the new life these students have!

Parenting Reflection

2011-09-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

I saw this on a student's Facebook profile and it immediately sent me to my blog...

Me, behave? Seriously? As a child I saw Tarzan almost naked, Cinderella arrived home after midnight, Pinocchio told lies, Aladdin was a thief, Batman drove over 200 miles an hour, Snow White lived in a house with 7 men, Popeye smoked a pipe and had tattoos, Pac Man ran around to digital music while eating pills that enhanced his performance, and Shaggy and Scooby were mystery solving hippies that always had the munchies. The fault is not mine!

As a parent my kids are observing things everyday that are forming in them thought patterns that they will based their life on. Choices, decisions & values that will be part of their character forming.
So, what do they observe of me that shows an obedience to Christ?
What do they see me to that reflects dis-obedience to Jesus?
What conversations do I need to have with them so they can learn to think for themselves in a healthy way?
Go back to your child-hood. What movies, TV shows, music, friendships helped form some of you enjoyed and didn't enjoy? We get attached so easily to social activity that sometimes it escapes our filter of "Is this really the best thing for me?" As parents our kids are watching what we value and then watching what their friends & peers value and wondering what is different or why they are the same. As kids develop they hit a certain stage where their identity needs to seperate from their parents. It doesn't mean that they automatically rebel, but it does mean they need to think for themselves. I have a short window (it feels) to help my kids learn to be able to know how to think for themselves so as they form their own identity it is one that reflects being a blessing to this world and not a leech.
Working with teens, being a part of conversations with them, it is common to see how their values they personally hold reflect a "majority rule" consensus. If the majority around them vote "YES" on something then they are inclined to the do the same. Even those individuals that like to be non-conformists...they end up conforming with their non-comformist friends. Often what they truly value is hidden because if they aren't in the majority it is hard to stand against the "masses".

Dang...parenting is fun!!

dbowers75 shared an Instagram photo with you

2011-09-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

Hi there,

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"Day 1 of a new adventure"

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The Instagram Team

dbowers75 shared an Instagram photo with you

2011-09-07T08:07:00.001-07:00

Hi there,

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"Off to school"

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The Instagram Team

dbowers75 shared an Instagram photo with you

2011-09-07T08:06:00.001-07:00

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"My 2nd grader!!"

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10 Years Later....

2011-08-31T11:58:00.000-07:00

September marks the beginning of my 11 year of youth ministry...crazy I know. For those of you who like the mathematics side of life you just realized I've been doing youth ministry since I was 20. Yes i started receiving my first paycheck doing youth ministry at 20 years old [I agree, that church had no clue what they were doing either :)]

So as I was driving the other day I thought of all the things 10 years of youth ministry has taught me & here is a snippet of that list. I might expand on it in the future but for now here ya go;

Sound board

- I've had to learn my way around 1/4", XLR, 'gain', sub's, monitors & hi/low frequencies. I've become a self proclaimed professional amateur at it all.

Packing vehicles is an art form

- You can become a King of packing vehicles for trips & gaining the most cargo room out of any type of vehicle

Itinerary

- I actually love being able to plan, budget, organize meals & know how to affectively create an itinerary for ANY type of trip with teenagers.

Doors that open & close

- I've had the privileged to be able to partner with many Godly leaders & voices for the world of youth ministry and I've learned so much from them. God has truly opened doors for me as well as closed some. Every time it is valuable teaching moments!

Missions trips Crossing international borders with the "funny guy" students can give you a small heart palpitation

Holy Spirit is crazy funny

- When God wants to move, God will move & you'll laugh at how awesome God is

Relational tears

- I cry more now with youth ministry moments than I did 10 years ago and it is truly because of the deeper relationships I have with students, leaders & my own family. AND I AM OK WITH IT!

The Gospel Matters

- The more lives I see affected by the gospel of Jesus the more I want to keep renewing my commitment to the world of youth ministry

I love still love my Job

This last decade has been truly rewarding & humbling and feel I am at the beginning of something great & new!

Flawed Human Being

2011-08-29T23:58:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I look in the mirror & tell myself "you suck!"

It might be in regard to a parenting issue I have, something in our marriage I feel I am screwing up, when I burn a steak cooking dinner, etc. So often, maybe too often, I look in a mirror and don't like what I am seeing.

I don't like seeing how flawed I am because I know my flaws don't just affect me. There is often a ripple effect with the wrong I do or mistakes I make that impact those around me. Sometimes what is most disturbing is when I think what I am doing is the right thing or the healthy thing but then I find out that it's been affecting someone negatively for a while.

I am not a perfectionist, but I am a people pleasure. I don't like disappointing or failing those around me especially when I want to care for them so much.

The only thing I can do is when I feel like I am sucking a lot in life is get real specific on what areas I can work on. I need to invite God's wisdom & direction so that my life isn't just about me. I know the reality is I will fail people in small & large ways in life, but my hope is I fail less & less as I pay more and more attention to those areas that need re-worked.

How do you look at the areas of life that you feel is flawed?

Summer Chaos or Captivating?

2011-08-18T13:20:00.000-07:00

Summer

This summer has been NON-STOP for us as a family. From ministry events, friend hang outs, family vacations, football camps & impromptu happenings….we've had a packed summer.

A few times people asked "how do you do it?" and/or "aren't you tired of going?". Each time the response has been NO. When the calendar you live by is set by you & what you invest into is a joy, love & passion it isn't too much. It takes some creative calendar planning as well as comical laundry juggling but it has been a blast.

We have one life to live and our family values & the kingdom needs to be impacted. I only have so many years to invest in my kids lives & I need to be intentional in doing that.

I only have so much time with teenagers in our ministry before they move on & I want to be the best pastor I can for them while they are around.

Business can be an adjective people use for their life as a bragging right or to reveal pain/frustration. I don't characterize life/ministry as busy, it is either effective or ineffective. I need my family to enjoy our captivating moments of life, fun, experiences that give us all a world perspective, I don't need my family telling me that the chaos of my job is hurting them, I refuse to do that!

Just a bit of thoughts that I've processed this summer in midst of questions & personal observations...and to all who have been curious, our summer has been great!!

Trustworthy Leadership

2011-08-17T13:20:00.000-07:00

During this summer I've been gone more than home….literally. You count the days since June 6th & I've been gone more days than I have been home. My family has navigated this due to part of me being gone has been family vacations & a couple ministry events that they've been able to join me on. But when it comes to our student ministry there is always an angst that "everything will go ok".

It really is that false idea that "as long as the pastor is present everything goes ok"

Yep I fall into that stupid idea too!

During my absense 2 Sunday's in a row I was able to leave things in COMPLETE TRUST to two people

I introduce to you Mitch who is a GREAT volunteer in our high school ministry. This guy has been a huge joy for me to have as a volunteer & share some life with. He's a great attorney & has a HUGE heart for the kingdom. We've had some great conversations about life, marriage, ministry, law, teenagers, faith risks, kingdom mentality living & a ton more.

On one Sunday He taught our Theology class in the morning & our High School service that night. He stepped up as a volunteer, covered all the details with exact-ness & I knew our students were in trusted hands.

Another Sunday I invited a former student back to teach for me--Sergio Garces. I've known Sergio since he was 11 years old and now at 22 he is full on living for the kingdom. I had Mitch M/C the night and Sergio taught. Again another Sunday where I wasn't present but ministry was in trusted hands.

But both these nights these men had another 4-5 leaders around running our cafe, multimedia, set-up/clean-up & being with students.

I love our volunteers, leaders & people who care about the lives of teenagers enough to invest into them. Ministry cannot be done alone & healthy ministry cannot exist without healthy leaders who realize that "the pastor duty" is as much theirs as it is mine.

Love ya Mitch & Sergio!!!

Reading for Wisdom as a Parent

2011-07-02T00:35:00.000-07:00

I've been reading this book and it has been a huge amount of wisdom, creative juices as well as humbling facts about boys and my role in raising them. So fare I've had two big take aways.

1- Each stage of life has specific needs boys must have met. If they aren't met then boys can be forced to be delayed in their development. However, delayed in their development doesn't mean complete failure or loss of practical identity of who they become. I have had to reflect on how I am meeting my son's needs as well as how I've missed giving them some needed care and what I can do to help "catch-up"

2- Boys are fun. Boys need fun to help them develop. Boys need adventure & boys need a sense of wild abandonment or their brains do not develop properly. If they are constrained, sheltered or confined in ways that restrict who they are hardwired as God has seen fit they can actually lose part of who they are that can honor God. So praise Jesus for wild crazy fun with a huge sense of curiosity that doesn't have to lead to answers but exploration!

You can order it by clicking here---

G.O.S.P.E.L.

2011-06-29T00:47:00.000-07:00

I used this video on a high school night & had a ton of positive feedback from it.

Summer Fun

2011-06-29T00:31:00.000-07:00

This Summer our student ministry is incredibly crazy as well as our personal lives. So to do our best to keep families informed I have some great graphic help from a lady in our office and we made up these images to post to our website, Facebook & use as handouts each week when we see students.

End of the School Year

2011-06-26T11:48:00.000-07:00

This past year I've had a lot of highlights as a dad of a 2nd & 1st grader. But one of the biggest highlights was definitely Walking to School. It was a 15-20 minute walk depending on how long Cole decided to take but each day that we walked we had an unprecedented time to talk, day dream, tell crazy stories, pray together as well as create some funny games.

I loved being able to enjoy the outdoors on an early morning, walk with my kids but also have the time to just enjoy the time together. I noticed on the days we drove to school things felt a little more rushed to get out of the house but when we walked it was very clear that the time while we walked was truly a protected time frame for us guys.

I look forward to some family walks this summer & next school year's walking routine!

Youth Ministry Idea #3

2011-06-25T11:46:00.000-07:00

Budgeting ideas for the financially impaired

Every April I get an email from our Executive Pastor with the title “BUDGET TIME” in the subject memo which creates 8 weeks of proposing a budget for a new fiscal year of ministry responsibility that is never as big as the dreams I have for youth ministry. Majority of the time I’ve seen youth pastors be handed a budget with a “make it work” type statement attached to it.

A long time ago I quit griping about “my budget isn’t big enough” because I believe God isn’t worried about my budget. He is worried about the students that He loves & need Jesus intimately in their life. Money can’t stop Jesus from impacting lives-

So here are some ideas for those of us who feel our ministries are FINANCIALLY IMPAIRED when it comes to our budgets.

1- If you are the type of person who cannot balance your check-book, don’t pay bills on time & have no clue how to save then you should not be responsible for your youth budget. Humbly ask someone who is to help you use whatever funds you are given responsibly.

2- Fundraise, but don’t do it alone. I have seen some really smart, creative people plan & organize fundraisers that bless my ministry. Often the fundraisers we’ve done have been great for students to be an integral part, adults get chances to help & people show up to lovingly give to the ministry. Be creative & maximize the returns you’ll have from the energies put into it. We’ve done Silent Auctions, ran a Christmas tree lot, operated a fireworks booth, held Benefit Golf games, Partnered with community restaurants for % sharing nights, hired out students for labor based jobs (cleaning garages/homes, yard work, etc).

3- Ask for donations. When I’ve been around people who have said “hey let me know if you need anything to help your ministry” I am more than ok replying “I need donations, can you help me gather some?” I am always honest & open with people of where I need funds to go to be it scholarships, outreach events, youth room improvements, tech/sound gear. Also sometimes if you ask nicely local business may give your ministry some freebies for tax donations purposes.

4- Go simple & refocus your energies. Yes this is hard, but changing event ideas, altering trips & asking for parental help with supplies can create some really great youth ministry highlights. When was the last time you borrow some tents from church families and just went weekend camping with students? How about collect cereal boxes, hide them at people’s homes in the church & create a scavenger hunt for your students? Call up a veteran youth worker and ask “in the old days what events did you do that were cheap or zero cost?” Then recreate the events.

I refuse to let fiancés get in the way of healthy ministry. Ministry is about eyes, ears & heartbeats not decimal points and dollar signs.

Feel free to email me to discuss any of this in further detail.

Happy Budget talks!

Youth Ministry Idea #2

2011-06-24T11:45:00.000-07:00

Learning to see weaknesses has to be something youth pastors need become good at.

“A good leader knows where he/she isn’t good” That’s my quote (or at least I’ve never heard anyone else say it) and you are welcome to use it.

We know we need to use our strengths in teaching, discipleship, training, recruiting, etc to allow our ministries to continue to be a place of health for students to encounter Jesus in a real way. However, if we have weakness or our weakness have created a lack of health in our ministries we are leading we need to be able to spot them.

I know my leadership weaknesses. I know that I need to find others who are gifted in my areas of weaknesses to be able to serve and help our ministry. As the key leader if I try to lead from places of weakness I can harm the ministry and even stand in God’s way. Remember Saul and his moments of weakness as king of Israel…yeah I don’t want that to be me.

So how do you know where areas are weak or where you are weak?

1- If you are new to ministry this may be a frustrating road. Most people know their weaknesses from their strengths by practicing, practicing, practicing and then seeing results. However, it is true that your strengths will energize you and your weakness can drain or frustrate you. Use a blank white board & list out all you do in a day, week & then a year. Evaluate what strengthens you & drains you. This may be a good place to start from.

2- Ask yourself what is “missing” from your ministry. Is it healthy culture of evangelism, discipleship training, adult leader equipping or whatever else? If it is missing & it isn’t a passion of yours then it might be a weakness. Many people push weakness areas of leading to the end of a “to-do” list instead of the forefront.

3- Be ok leading from where you are at and how you are wired. I quit trying to fix every weakness along time ago and just wanted to lead from how I am wired. For example: I can’t lead worship nor do I think it is a critical aspect of student ministry, however I know how visceral worship through music can be for students. For each ministry season or setting I have prayed and searched for someone who has a passion for worship. When I find them, I empower them to lead and allow our ministry to be healthier because I got out of the way.

I think finding or discovering your weaknesses can be enjoying because it can give you a sense of freedom of not trying to be the leader you aren’t. It also allows you the share the load of ministry with others while seeing health come to the lives of students through your ministry setting!

Youth Ministry Idea #1

2011-06-23T11:44:00.000-07:00

When Student Leaders don’t act like it

I love student leadership! I LOVE seeing teenagers who care deeply about their faith, community & want to see God move mightily through both. However I also know teenagers are flawed people just like me. I know mistakes will happen and expectations won’t be met. So how do we handle those students when that happens?

A good standard for yourself when working with a leadership team is to make sure expectations are always talked about with your team at every chance possible. Never assume anything, make it clear as possible as often as possible.

Here is how I’ve learned to handle student leaders who begin to get off step:

1- Remind them of what God’s expectations of a follower of Christ are. If these values are never discussed with your student leadership team then you’ve made a mistake as a youth pastor. Part of leadership must be rising up those students who are going to be ministry leading the next generation. They need to grow not just a people but also as ministry leaders.

2- Review them of your expectations of the team. I have 5 core values I hold my student leaders too. They are easy to remember, easy to live out if hearts are in the right place. When a student leader isn’t fulfilling one of these values for the ministry they are serving I have a conversation with them to lovingly redirect their thought & awareness as to what is expected of them. The point of them being a leader is to impact the ministry around them, when students know & see their role in light of what it means in the lives of other students it can help reduce the selfishness that can get students off track.

3- Raise the Bar. Too often the urge of staying friendly youth pastor takes over from being the shepherd who hold’s students to an accountable lifestyle. Calls students out, you will need to show love & grace but speak truth. I firmly believe that leaders need a bar raised constantly in their life. I want my role to help these students to grow up spiritually, physically & socially as they move from being a child into a young man/woman who will be a leader in the church for future generations

4- Remove them. I dislike this moment a lot. It is very hard to have several conversations with a student leader, attempting to help them redirect their lifestyle to match up to the standards and accountability that is expected of them, to have to ask them to step down. When this moment happens I do everything I can to remind the student that I care for them & want them to come to a place where they could return to leadership, but firs they need to return to a place of complete love and surrender to Christ. I’ve never gotten to the point of a conversation where the student was surprised when asked to step down.

Student leadership can be incredibly rewarding but it is a ministry commitment you need to make to constantly keep students in a place of health so the ministry & testimony of Christ can be in a place of health and acceptance. Enjoy the journey, I always do!

Family Date Nights

2011-06-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

Kim and I try to take 2 nights a month where we each take a son and go out on a date/hang time. This gives us a chance to put some intentional & individual time into our sons lives. We've seen that our boys look forward to this as much as we do. We have a tight budget so we have to be sure the dates we do are very cheap if not free. The only condition for these dates is that the boys have to bring with them 2 questions to ask and we have to bring 2 questions to ask.

I thoroughly enjoy these conversations that come from these questions. The conversations have varied all over the place from what type of car would you like to own, favorite food, weirdest animal I've ever seen, what does God look like, why do girls talk so much and so much more.

As a dad a non-negotiable for me is to be sure that faith & God conversations are regular. I want my kids to feel comfortable asking me any question at any point of time. I want to create a relationship where no matter that content of their question my kids have the chance to ask it of me. I also want to speak with honesty as well as grace towards them. These moments won't last forever, I want to be sure that I take full advantage of the gift of children as a father!

Youth Ministry Smile

2011-06-13T22:15:00.000-07:00

I love being able to brag about students who are in our ministry that get highlighted in the community.
The student on the far right of the picture is Kyle Norheim. He's a student I've known since coming to Mission Hills and has always been a guy who's been honest, blunt & willing to wrestle with his faith. His ability to join this lifeguard crew wasn't an easy task, but I am very proud of the kid!

You could read the original article by clicking here

Frustrated Leadership Settings

2011-06-10T11:05:00.000-07:00

Not much really rattles me as a leader. Little can really bump me off what I feel called or convicted on as a leader. Don't get me wrong I can get frustrated by stuff but in terms of something really getting under my skin and creating some angst in my life it takes a lot to do that.

However something that does get under my skin when it comes to leadership is Closed door policies & white horse leadership.

Closed door policies are policies that aren't allowed to be discussed. They are policies that have usually been in effect for years and have created a "we've always done it this way" mentality. Often closed door policies are created out of personal preferences rather than desiring to be effective as leaders.
Closed door policies get under my skin purely because they don't allow other leaders a voice of leadership. Closed door policies create a culture of "don't ask about that issue or you'll be looked at as non-supportive and not a team player". That type of culture can make people feel they are walking on egg shells and can also feel very crippled in their own leadership.

White Horse Leadership is also something that can get under my skin. White Horse leadership is where a key leader or a small group of key leaders take a dictator role in making decisions. Usually these leaders have a large ego-centric personality that bleeds into how they lead.
White Horse Leadership bugs me because often leadership make decisions that hurt other staff members or ministries. They seldom if ever sit and talk with multiple leaders to gain insight & input other than just their own.
White Horse Leadership has had direct impact on my life both in ministry & outside of ministry settings.

Now I can't say I dislike these two things in leadership without looking in a mirror to be sure I don't do the same thing. I value the friends I have who help as a sound board to be sure I don't make dumb leadership decisions. I enjoy my church setting because neither of these are issues.

Road Trips

2011-06-08T14:26:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I took this crew of Seniors on a road trip.

It was a pre-planned weekend to say thanks to my first real class of students who've known me the entire time I've been at Mission Hills as well as students who have really taken student ministry seriously. During the weekend we drove Route 66 for a majority of the trip. It was crazy to see so much of a road that was A CENTRAL way to get to California. It was also sad to see some serious crazy cool spots for motels, rest stops that have been completely run-down because of lack of commerce. We had a ton of spontaneity in our trip as well as a plethora of Random fun & pics. I can't tell you how often we stopped the car, flipped a U-turn or hung a hard right to get a cool picture. You can see them here-

This trip was very RICH in youth ministry reward for me. I was able to talk with a key group of students that I have been around as they've wrestled with doubt, faith, joys, passions & what their faith is for the last 3.5 years. For the trip I created a road trip memory book to have some guided discussions through the 1208 miles we drove in 2.5 days. We had deep & extended conversations about faith, Salvation, Goals they have as they move forward in life, Impact they want to have for the Kingdom of Jesus as they continue on in life post high school. It was great to have conversations about parents, pressures of life, the impact our local church had in their lives. I had misty eyes at some points of looking at 5 young adults who are actually acting & living as young adults.

A favorite moment for me was driving back on Sunday and one student got a picture from a friend. In the picture was 9 high school students passed out in a living room from prom. Yes I know they were passed out & weren't just sleeping. Most people don't just fall asleep holding a bucket next to them. As this picture got passed around everyone in the car echoed the comment of "we could've lived a life just like them...but we are doing something different. We are living a new normal".

I love when students own their faith & take their relationship with the incarnate Christ seriously!

YouthMinistry 360 Article

2011-06-07T09:57:00.000-07:00

Here is an article I wrote for some friends at YM360

As I observe teenagers, I’ve learned that they tend to be very visceral and experiential. They seem to want to “taste, touch, smell, and feel” life. I imagine this is your observation, as well. Research shows us that between the ages of 11-25, people need “life experiences” for proper brain development to occur. They need to create the ability to evaluate, associate, and build upon their emotions and feelings so they can put description to what they go through.

You’ve no doubt had those conversations with teenagers (and adults) where you hear them say “I don’t feel God in my life right now.” (Any of you ever feel stuck at what to say next other than the textbook response of “well, you know He’s there”?) They are responding to what they perceive as a lack of an experience with God. We see this same cry in Scripture; the Psalms are riddled with laments, cries, groaning and painful pleas of “where are you God?”

But compounded on this, is the “I need it now” emphasis of digital networking (SMS, Twitter, YouTube, Facebook, etc) that has created a culture-wide lack of patience.

We’ve had students have “life changing” experiences on mission trips, serving projects and being hands on with leadership roles. We watch as a group of students at a camp/retreat bring back a ton of energy and excitement. We see, plan, and budget for catalytic events that will create a momentum for our students off the “experience” they will have. All in the name of an experiential aspect of our faith development.

However a careful line that must be walked upon is this tension of having experiences dictate our understanding of God, rather than have or understanding of God impact our experiences.

When God moves, it confirms who He is and what His Kingdom is about. We desire that for our students, because we want them to experience the gospel first hand & live it out. We want their lives to be impacted by God in very tangible ways. We want spiritual markers for them to look back upon, like Old Testament alters of remembrance of God moving, so to speak. We want their faith to be confirmed by living out their faith. We want 1 John 2:6 in their lives.

But if their relationship with Christ is primarily based off experiences what happens when their experience is negative? What happens when the camp/retreat goes poorly, or the mission trip creates a tension in them they’ve never had before? What happens when their experience with a person of another faith challenges their own faith convictions?

I believe we are dealing with a biblically illiterate generation. I tend to see teenagers whose faith is based on what they feel over what they have searched to be true. When it comes to faith, it seems many students stop thinking for themselves, or stop wrestling with life tensions. Statements similar to, ”if it doesn’t feel comfortable or right then it must not be” fill conversations. Hard questions on pain in the world, life-hurts, sin, and doubt all stem from experiences that put tension on students’ faith.

There has to be more of a foundation.

We have the Scriptures as a key revelation to the character of God. Students need to know His character so that they need can experience His character. I believe deeply, a strong conviction as a follower of Jesus, that if we aren’t exposing students to knowing the character of God without experiencing God, we are doing them no good. And if we aren’t allowing them to experience the person of Jesus Christ without knowing Him, again, we do them no good.

I don’t have a way to balance this other than to keep it on our radar on our team, to be sure that our conversations, teachings, and focus is balanced. My prayer as a pastor is that I lead students to know God, so that when they experience Him, there is a foundation of relationship to build on.

What are your thoughts on this dynamic?

Yosemite & Boys

2011-06-05T13:45:00.000-07:00

I love the opportunities the outdoors give to my boys. It fills their lungs with a deep sense of adventure & wonder. Curiosity surrounds each bend in a path and hides behind every tree stump....Boys feed off that.

I love to watch my boys imagination take off with a tree, a rope & all of a sudden they own their own outdoor climbing service. They can dream about racing down rapids in their inner tubes while walking over a bridge. They can use their tent as a safety shelter while replaying MAN vs WILD episodes. The sense of wonder fills a boys mind to the point where imagination and reality often blur. Wonder feeds our souls. For my two kids to stare at a waterfall that never stops flowing with the roar of the water impacting boulders that are hidden but 8 months earlier were climbed upon with pictures to prove it....that draws something out of them.

I also love the curiosity of exploration. If it wasn't for explorers we'd all be lost. We explore out of a hunger for knowledge and to discover the unknown. My boys explore the outdoors with a ravenous curiosity of timidity in the same step. They dig, they look, they examine, they get surprised by deer, coyotes & bears. They explore places that allow them to gasp at the vastness of something that never ends. To be outdoors and hike for 7 hours to only realize you haven't even touched 1% of the area you are in draws out the fact that "there is more to be found".

I love the mistakes that are made & lessons learned in the outdoors. To walk through a stream pretending to explore a creek bed to come back to camp & have wet shoes, socks & pants to then experience a temperature drop after the sun dips behind the last peak of a mountain tells young boys...ooops! To be cold & know you can't get warm as quickly as you thought allows them to learn. To close a pocket knife while not paying attention to where your index finger is at and that little quick cut of skin serves as a good lesson learned. To try for 30 minutes with a flint strip to start a fire cause your dad makes you learn that way helps you appreciate the match you just used to light the lantern. To hike up a hill and drink all your water too fast and deal with a side ache helps 7 year olds slow down a little.
Outdoors truly are great places to help little boys fail safe. Because of course the mama & papa bear watch them close enough so they don't fail to the point of tragedy.

My Youth Ministry Value

2011-06-03T12:13:00.000-07:00

In the past few months I've been wrestling with a question in my cranial department. I will admit up front this question comes from a place of insecurity and even maybe some bits of pondering of my future. The question is "What is my youth ministry value?".

What do I add to the youth ministry world?
In me there is a sense of "this isn't enough". I have a drive to want to do more, experience more, create more, lead more, teach more, write more, play more, mentor more.....MORE. The common bit in all this I don't want to ever feel "I've done enough". To me that statement means that I am settling, feel accomplished & ok with not pushing for more in my life.

I know there are some students & leaders I've had a direct impact on and I am thankful for that. Thankful that God in his divine leading of life has allowed my life to be a positive interaction for someone else. That I've had an eternal impact on some people is very, very humbling to me. But at the end of the day, I still want more & be a part of more.

Some side questions that I've had pop up in my thinking on this topic of value in the world of youth ministry have been;
Is it to just be a youth pastor to the teenagers I come across?
Is vocational youth ministry coming to a close?
Is the drive to want a larger voice in the youth ministry world ego driven?
Am I content in allowing God to lead this question & not my own drive?
Is this drive for more kingdom focussed or Danny' empire driven?

Adventures in Life Management

2011-06-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

Lately there has been some serious thinking on my part as to what needs to happen every day & what I want to happen every day. Both lists seem to be at odds with each other. There are some obvious task driving/job related tasks I need to do as a pastor on a staff, but there are also very specific ideas I'd like to see happen everyday as a husband, father & pastor.

So here is a few items on my list & how I am trying to manage them for success and health.

Time to read my bible daily
Make no mistake I do not read my bible because I am a pastor. I read my bible because I believe in the life giving message of God & the gospel of Jesus Christ. In that I know that as a husband & father I need to know God so I can live my life the way He desires me too.

Family Fun
Be this a letter/note to my kids or wife, A goofy text or picture, nerf war or a fun family idea written down to be completed later....I want to help instigate family fun daily. I need to be sure that my to-do list never distracts me from leading and living life with some serious fun.

Danny gets to dream
I need time to write. I need time to dream & work on projects that help me nourish my soul. Often these items get pushed to the side because "I run out of time". However I need to try to buffer that. I notice that when I put time into dreaming and work on some of these projects they actually energize me to get through tough/frustrating times

Student Time
I am a pastor to students. By definition I need to be with students to know how to pastor them. I try really, really hard to weekly connect with a variety of students but I can never meet up with all of them. So I try to meet with as many as I can, as often as I can.

Administrative
I try to lump as much administrative work into 1 day of my week & I do this for a couple reasons. I can do admin work and I can do it well, but I don't like it. If i can gear myself up mentally to tackle admin duties for one whole day I seem to be able to give myself freedom the rest of the week to enjoy other aspects of my job.

Family Future
I need to try to continue to make family time, date time, figure out vacations, pay bills, think about how to keep our family on a single income, etc, etc. I need to give time to this so our family can breathe more than hold their breathe for life to be healthy.

There's some bits of my list. Wanna add any for me? Got any you'd wanna share?